Article | Power of Love - Healing Misunderstandings
“Just because we tell ourself a story doesn’t make it True”
Rev. Christopher StandingBear
Our stories are only as true as we make them through what evidence we use to support them or disprove them, and our “proof” will ultimately form what we believe, and our belief will determine how we feel.
Are you the Observer or Victim? Do you feel calm peaceful safe and Loving, or anxious hurting depressed and fearful?
A crow and I
It was the second Tuesday of March 2019 when a misunderstanding occurred and ultimately gave me an opportunity for growth and healing.
I was walking the forest trail located on my friend’s property where I live and I came upon an injured crow hopping along the left edge of the path dragging its right wing. As I followed about four feet behind it observing its behavior, I noticed if I came any closer, it would attempt to fly but couldn’t. I also noticed there was a single crow 8-9 feet above and to the left flying from one branch to another as all of this played out. My sense was it was keeping a watchful eye on the wounded crow and my behavior.
Being the Reiki Master I am, in my heart I really wanted to catch up with the grounded crow and Lovingly hold it to flow energy into its wing and body. I quickly realized that wasn’t going to happen and so I did what comes naturally, I held it in my heart-mind as I provided it with distance healing while also backing off a couple of feet so it would understand it was safe from my physical presence. When we came to the end of the trail that opens into a field, it hid in the brush on the right, and I walked past it as I verbalized my Loving intent for healing.
A day later, I was walking along the pond edge bordered by the occasional tree, when I saw a crow fly to and land on a branch ahead of me about 8 feet up, and start making a lot of noise with its caws and chatter. Whenever I would look up at it, it would aggressively peck at and then wipe its beak on the branch it was on as if agitated by my presence and then go back to talking whenever I looked away.
Thinking of the observing crow in the trees from the day before, I wondered if it had misunderstood what it saw, so I gently verbalized how sorry I felt about the injury his family member sustained and my prayers for healing, and explained my perspective of the events.
For the next couple of days, this cycle of flying to where I was, voicing its uneasiness and then pecking/wiping its beak when I would look at it, played out. Feeling curious about this behavior, I looked it up and discovered crows act this way when they feel threatened, just as I had sensed.
By day four, it added swooping down within a few feet of my head whenever it saw me. It seemed as if my approach of mentally and physically talking to it wasn’t working. It appeared to be the same crow since, of all the many other crows around, just this one acted out in my presence.
A couple of my friends witnessed this activity and found it funny; I on the other hand started feeling threatened and began looking deeper within for a solution. Knowing that when we are bothered by someone or something around us, it is a reflection of some part of self being ignored and therefore needing our attention, I decided to look at how I may have misinterpreted the crow’s actions that now I felt threatened by.
When this all started, I clearly understood the crow had misread the situation and was acting from that place and this wasn’t about me, but as its actions progressed into dive bombing my head, I began to take it personal and as a result, I now felt fearful and threatened. Then a thought flashed through my mind...
There is one profoundly powerful way to resolve this… use Love and Light, and so that is what I did.
On the following Monday morning, the crow demonstrated its usual behavior as I walked on the property, and this time, followed me home and landed on the power line along my driveway to squawk at me. I responded by standing below and in front of it, while making eye contact and Loving on it before it quickly flew off.
Tuesday mid-morning, now a week after the misunderstanding occurred, the usual routine played out before once again following me home and this time landing on a tree branch twelve feet from the front door. As with the day before, I peacefully stood there looking deeply into its eyes and this time really opened up my Heart space focusing all my Love on it while it nervously pecked, wiped its beak and talked up a storm.
We were having this exchange for what seemed like several minutes before it became progressively quieter and less fidgety, and then another crow called out from some distance behind my left shoulder, and it flew off and everything returned to normal.
Soon after, I came across a study that showed crows remember dangerous people based on their face and walking patterns, and pass this information on to other crows and their off-spring.
In the year that has elapsed, everything has remained normal as if it never happened.
The NeighborDuring the spring and summer of 2019, (May – September), we had a neighbor return from wintering in a much warmer climate, who I wanted to change the energy dynamics with, without her conscious participation. This meant I would be focused on resolving any attachments held by any part of self, therefore changing my responses even if nothing else changed, without needing her to be involved or going against her free will.
I had been friends with this neighbor for 10 years until a few years prior, when a misunderstanding between her and my housemate triggered some of her past-unresolved traumas. When I remained neutral about the situation and didn't automatically take her side, it created a sense of betrayal for her, and therefore a rift was formed between her and I.
I knew she wasn’t in a place emotionally that would allow her to be open to anything I had to say since she was buried in her story about it all, so I answered with my Heart and Loved on her all the time, even when she was away during the winter.
When she returned during early spring of 2020, I held hope that I would witness a shift between her and I, and it only took a few weeks to see that she was softening, though still quite guarded. The energy felt like she wasn’t in a state-of-mind, or emotional state, where she was ready to forgive yet, so I continued to Love on her and hold her in Love and Light in my Heart.
Slowly and tentatively she relaxed a little, and we started talking more and she began opening up again, though not completely. I could feel this in her energy and watched how guarded she remained to be through her body langauge.
By early September we were in regular contact and though she was still quite reserved, I felt like my numerous on-going acts of Love were being, at least partially, accepted despite the energy of unforgiveness remaining ever present within her being.
Then, on September 18th, I received a scathing email from her accusing my landlord of turning her in to the county for property code violations, and me of betraying her again by providing him with all the information he needed to do so, all of which wasn’t and isn’t even remotely true. She may have gotten in trouble from the county, I don’t know that for sure, but I knew none of us had anything to do with it.
I was quite taken aback, and denied any knowledge of this and asked about her source for this accusation, and from there it just spiraled into a mess, even after I confronted her with some facts and questions to help her get pointed in the correct direction.
It was like watching, energetically, a 3 year old get scolded for a mistake they made, go through the process of telling him/herself that they are a bad person, then try passing the blame onto someone else in order to momentarily absolve themself of the emotional pain and guilt they feel about the mistake and being scolded, and finally the anguish that comes from the lie, I am a bad person, then go into a dark place within.
The challenge can be breaking that cycle of endless projection and blind denial so we can actually discover what is True about us; we are Lovable, we are Loved, we are Worthy of Love and being Loved...
The best answer for me, seeing this play out with her, has been to energetically hold her in Love and Light so that she may both see what is Truth, on all levels and layers, and heal the misunderstanding and all that has sprung forth as a result.
Bless her heart (and the rest of her too).
My Truth is, she was like the innocent child who is still living out the story she has told herself, perhaps for many years, who now is simply acting out the pain she feels from the separation from Truth.
My perspective is that she was still in so much pain from what she perceived to be a betrayal with my housemate, and then by me when I did not take her side the way she thought I should, she took the position of guarding herself from any possible future betrayals and could not see what was so obviously Loving right in front of her. You could say her emotional pain and unresolved trauma had blinded her to all my acts of Love. From this guarded space, the scolding by the county appeared to be yet another betrayal regardless of everything I and we did to support her being our neighbor. None of this was personal; that remains obvious to and for me. This was an act of being in pain playing out here; My Heart goes out to her.
Anything that does not appear to be Love, is a call for Love.
I am truly grateful for these experiences; they reminded me of the importance of Love in healing our misunderstandings, and each gave me the opportunity to Be Loving with others who did not or do not feel so Loving towards me, proving to me that I am completely capable of Loving others regardless of their actions.
May we all be Infinitely Loving and Compassionate towards ourselves and others!
I Love You!
Are you feeling challenged by your relationships and want help?
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About the authorRev. Christopher StandingBear RMT specializes in helping clients release their emotional attachment to the past through his work as a Trauma Release Coach™ at Bearfoot Healing.
He draws upon his own experiences and study of human behavioral psychology, his intuition, connection with Divine Guidance and the work he does with clients using Energy Medicine and Energy Psychology to write articles that will empower others in their personal healing.