Article | The Truth about relationships - exploring Real Love
Relationships serve a purpose beyond mere friendship or companionship giving us insight about self through our range of feelings and judgments.
The true purpose of relationships
The true purpose of our relating with another, even in passing or from afar, is so we may have the opportunity to grow as an individual through seeing and experiencing ourselves in comparison or contrast to them.
When we put our best foot forward, put on our prettiest face or in any way mask our true self, it is out of fear of being disliked, unlovable, unworthy and judged. It takes a lot of energy to keep up this wall of protection, so as we spend more time with other, we begin to relax the guarded behavior allowing an increasing amount of our issues to show forth.
The attraction we have towards other is a reflection of our subconscious desire to resolve our fears, false beliefs, misunderstandings and misconceptions; therefore, the act of falsely representing our character serves a purpose. If we immediately saw the baggage being carried by this other, we would never move into relationship with them and give our self the opportunity to release and resolve all the untruths we carry that hinder us from moving into Love.
How we act, react and interact with others is a powerful way of gaining insight into how we are with ourselves and what needs to be healed, though the ego mind uses these opportunities as a way to symbolically rid itself of and deny our problems. As far as the mind is concerned, it is always someone else’s fault or problem, they are inherently wrong or flawed, not us.
Obviously we have a choice here; listen to the ego mind or use this experience as a way to acquire discernment regarding our issues.
As I treat you… I am treating self!
When we choose ego there is a temporary sense of being free of the problem and for many a feeling of superiority and power over this other entity. All this is short lived though since it is based on two falsehoods; that it is even possible to be better than another and our problems are really theirs.
Once an individual comes down from their artificial pedestal, they will most often scramble to find someone or group/class of people to blame for their distress and the cycle continues of short-changing the self of potential growth and true freedom until a new choice is made…
When we choose self a very powerful loving metamorphosis begins allowing us to finally get to know our personality and transform it into an Infinite Loving, Compassionate, Accepting, Peaceful and Joyful awareness.
Every time we commit to looking at self within our actions, reactions and interactions, we give our soul self and all that is, a gift of healing.
Love or love
I have discovered there are two kinds of Love;
There is love which is the expression of conditioned attachment we form for someone or something resulting from a belief that a part of us is missing or incomplete.
Then there is…
Love which is the expression of knowing our Oneness with all that is without attachments or conditions which gives rise for an ever expanding connection to all, regardless of whether or not anyone or anything appears to be a part of our life right now.
The first creates pain, the second does not.
The first is founded in part out of fear; the second has no room for fear.
Real Love is pure infinite and healthy without any conditions or stipulations and is also the Truth about us.
Intimate/romantic relationships are so often founded on what each person can do for the other and as long as each one feels they are getting their needs met, all is well. It is when one or both "fail" to hold up their end of the deal that we see trouble.
What tends to put this type of relationship at risk is relying on another for a sense of
Whenever we look for or rely on something or someone outside of self to satisfy us, we will run into disappointment somewhere. Disappointment is the result of having requirements and/or expectations that must be met in order to be happy or content and then holding other to those standards. Operating with this agenda will always lead to the couple feeling let down by both the criteria and the failure to meet it.
Some people have found ways to suppress, deny, or otherwise alienate their own feelings in order to remain in a relationship.
It is obvious they are miserable, though at least they have someone right?
It doesn’t have to be that way…
Exploring Real Love Relationships
Real Love Relationships are based on Pure Infinite Love, Compassion and Acceptance for self first and foremost, and within this state of beingness you have relationship with other.
You are aware of the vibration of Pure and Infinite Love within self that washes over every action, reaction and interaction. It purifies the experience we perceive ourselves to be having in the moment… now. It cleanses self of fear, judgment, hatred, retribution and retaliation, gracefully replacing those vibrations with that of
Any relationship that appears outside of self is the natural result of our inner vibration and is therefore in sync with our way of being, so relationships, especially intimate, founded in Love are profoundly supportive and empowering to each other, and are a true partnership.
Because this is a true partnership, it is the gathering of two or more in agreement to walk the same path together, the very one you would be taking even without other.
The movement in this relationship is one of ever greater growth and expansion within self, recognizing and realizing our connection to all. The saying "we are all One" is the realized understanding resulting from this way of being.
So what does a profoundly empowering and supportive relationship look and feel like?
Infinite Love- Real Love Relationships are filled with Infinite Love resulting from the Knowingness and Awareness of Truth; you are beyond mind/body conditioning and therefore greater than though not superior to. We relate through Loving Kindness in every moment seeing the Truth within, without and about self… We Are Truly One In Love!
Encouragement- There can be moments or even days, particularly at first as you transition more deeply into Love, that you feel down or out-of-alignment; this is where encouragement reminds and supports.
Compassion- It is recognized that each of us is capable of experiencing what you are in this moment; this is where compassion embraces.
Acceptance- There is Knowledge that no one can Truly cause us harm or pain; this is what acceptance understands.
Peace- Is the natural result of vibrating in Oneness with Infinite Love; this is where peace flows.
Joy- Is the accumulation of Being in partnership with Infinite Love, Encouragement, and Complete Acceptance with the experience of Peace; this is where joy dances and plays.
When all of this is True, you know yourself as Infinite Love expressing itself as Infinite Love within Infinite Love towards Infinite Love in partnership with Infinite Love.
The Truth is…
I AM Pure Consciousness having relationship with Pure Consciousness in Complete and Infinite Awareness expressed within and through the manifested body. This is true about you as well!
It is important that we choose to go with Love rather than fear.
When fear is our route, we build a wall of safety around our emotional heart and emotions in order to protect our imagined self from being potentially hurt or wounded and delay our True Self from being seen and experienced. This act denies us the greatest opportunity for growth and essentially creates an increasing amount of perceived separation from Love.
In separation we momentarily lose our expression of True Self, denying both self and other the gift that we are to all that exists. As we continue to walk the path of fear, we create a pit filled with depression, anxiety, panic, and disempowerment that becomes harder to escape from out of habit.
Real Love is the solution to our fear. It is what opens us up to Truth and allows the fullest expression of Self to rise forth and Be.
In Love it no longer matters what others think, say, feel or want from you, so you are free to Be.
In Real Love your relationships are an expression of overflowing Pure Infinite Love, Compassion, Acceptance, Peace and Joy giving rise to the realization that hurt, woundedness and need for protection are illusions that have lost their appeal. With this Knowledge you are empowered and therefore naturally empower others through your words, actions, interactions and presence. What you see and experience is Truth expressed through you for "them" reflected back.
Be Infinite Love Expressed…
Copyright 2013 – Rev. Christopher StandingBear, RMT. – All Rights Reserved
Rev. Christopher draws upon his own experiences and study of human behavioral psychology, his intuition, connection with Divine Guidance and the work he does with clients using Energy Medicine and Energy Psychology to write articles that will empower others in their personal healing.